You are a story. I am a story.

I loved this book when I was little.
What an amazing story of a little girl who knew she was a princess.
{whose name happened to be Sarah, just like me. I also knew I was a princess.}

She was strong and thought of life as a battle and a complete joy.
{I think of life that way too.}

She had a heart for the "outcast" person and had a way of making them feel loved.

When her world turned up-side down she stayed strong.

“Whatever comes," she said, "cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.” ~Francis Hodgson Burnett


For Valentine's Day, Mom, Sister and I went to see a production of "The Little Princess" and it touched me so much. It reminded me of how much I loved that book and reminded me how much a good story can impact your life.

"You are a story, I am a story."

Was a line in the show...

How all of our lives are stories and none being insignificant in God's big story. The Bible is one big story, and Jesus used stories to teach. Stories are so powerful because we all have a story and relate in some way to another person's story.

And when a wonderful story is portrayed through theater, dancing and music how it touches you in such a deep place. I love being involved in theater, dance and music for that reason. It has such a capacity to impact someone's life. I know mine was impacted by the show last weekend. I was reminded that my life IS a story and is not insignificant no matter how small you can feel.


“There's nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in--that's stronger. It's a good thing not to answer your enemies.” ~Francis Hodgson Burnett

Never stop reading the good classic stories. They have so much to offer!

You are a story.

I am a story.

{PS! I have some fun Valentiney sorts of pictures and stories to post soon too when I have time!}

heartstuff

"in these bodies we will live
in these bodies we will die
where you invest your love
you invest your life."
~mumford&sons~

aren't they precious? i love teaching dance.

i have been reading through isaiah lately.
mmmm... soo. good. so. goood!

[isaiah54:13]
no weapon formed against you will prevail
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you
this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord


[isaiah 55:9]
as the heavens are higher than the earth
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

amen and thank you, Jesus!

"you are the blood over the door of my heart
what pain you spared me from, how could i know it all"
[bethanydillon]

i love the imagery in that song ^^
like in the passover in the book of exodus, the lamb's blood over the israelites door caused the spirit of death to literally pass over their houses and spare their first born sons from death. and Jesus [the Lamb of God]'s blood over the "door of my heart" causes so much to passover and save me from eternal death. Jesus, thank you for being my precious lamb.

another thought on that is the fact that Jesus blood is over the door of my heart and everything that passes through that door directly affects Him.

feeding the flesh causes it to thrive.
feeding the spirit causes it to thrive.

it's easy to feed the flesh. but it constantly wants more and leaves you feeling empty.
it's harder sometimes to "feed" the spirit but it leaves you feeling full to bursting with joy and peace. spending time with Jesus always leaves me bursting and longing to never have to be distracted again from just being in His presence. when i get to go home and be with Him forever. this is not our home.

"Awake my soul, awake my soul
for you were made to meet your Maker"
[mumford&sons]

twentyeleven

twentyeleven in review
{in no particular order}

1. got my nose pierced
2. learned to drive a manual
3. lost my youth pastor and his baby son in a house fire
4. experience the body of Christ grieve and worship, losing derek and dylan {community}
5. be blessed beyond words to see God restore relationships and heal
6. traveled to China again
7. watch someone I led to the Lord lead someone else to the Lord
8. travel to iowa and california
9. be a maid of honor twice {in a month!}
10. won a tractor competition after driving a tractor once in my life
11. cried more than ever before
12. also laughed more than ever before {if possible}
13. trusted God in a deeper way than ever before
14. bought a special pair of pants and formed a sisterhood around them
15. watched the northern lights with my mom
16. slept in a tree house
17. went to narnia for the third time experienced being a lion {hair still recovering}
18. did handstands in an elevator
19. saw shooting stars in china, michigan and california
20. made a country music video
21. saw sara watkins perform with the decemberists
22. traveled to tennessee with my mom twice for weddings
23. turned quarter of a century old. :)


what a year.
i love Jesus sooo much.
bring it 2012!! :)

Isaiah 43:18-19
Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past, see I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?
See I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

happyheart!

I loved my trip to California! Couldn't have been more perfect...

The BMH retreat was refreshing to soul, filled with laughter and conversations, hiking and stargazing, dancing and welcoming in the new year with a Bonfire, poppers, worship and prayer and hugs! Love my BMH family, what a blessing to be a part!

Getting some quality Bochic Sisterhood time for the week following was incredible!

These sisters encourage my heart, challenge, inspire, love and lift me straight up to Jesus! <3

Heart full....

I love my family.

I love my new brother. God has used him to bless me in many many ways. I'm so thankful for His and my sister's relationship and marriage. It is such a beautiful picture to me with their hearts for the Lord and to love and serve others... Tom and his tender heart and his quickness to ask forgiveness or to be sensitive in any given situation. He is a man of God and I'm so thankful for who he is in my sister's life and in our whole family.

"Learn much of the Lord Jesus. For every look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely." - Robert Murray McCheyne

I read that ^^ quote earlier today and it really blessed me. Last week at dance my oldest group of girls and I were reading out a book called "The Vision and the Vow" and in that particular chapter it talked about stopping whatever you are doing and just taking time to be honest before the Lord and to truly answer the question do you Love Him most.

Honestly there are times I don't love Him most. I get distracted. I go to other things before I go to Him in the morning. I think of what I need to do, sleep in, get distracted by Emails.

All Jesus asks for is my heart.

Yet my heart is everything.

Jesus lives in my heart.

It was a good conversation about honestly coming before Jesus asking and begging Him to help us love Him first. Every day saying Jesus, help me love you first. And coming back to receiving His love. He has SO much He wants to share - there is never a time I have regretted being still before Him and coming to Him honestly. I regret many other ways I spend my time but never do I regret a moment in my Savior's presence.

There are days when I'm tired. So many people I love and care about are hurting. My heart hurts with them. Jesus how often you must hear and carry our broken hearts. So much sin, your creation groans. And we ask "How long, O Lord?"

And it also raises a battle cry within my heart... to not give up the fight. Life is not a game it's a war. And we are soldier's of the cross of Christ. He is carrying us and holding us up in the throne room - we can depend on Him to. He promises in His word.

We are not guaranteed tomorrow, only the present moment.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:2)

I am officially headed back to China this summer as well... I will be back in the city of Kunming serving with Bring Me Hope camps under the Hedden's Family. This is the same city my two sister's live in, Cookie and Gracie so I am beyond thrilled to be spending a more extended time there. Please be praying for me and funding for this. Helping me to be wise and to come up with creative ways as well to raise funds. There are some people from Grand Rapids/Lansing area hoping to come volunteer as well depending on whether or not funds can be raised.

I was on a prayer/conference call the other night for the new movie that Bring Me Hope is putting out to raise awareness for orphans in China. God has already provided a huge amount of funding for this project but there is still a huge amount more needing to be funded. As I was praying I couldn't help but think, "Money to God is nothing... His storehouses are endless and money is not a heavenly kingdom thing, it's an earthly thing and God will always provide what we NEED!" It was a bit of a revelation thinking of money in that way.

Jesus, in all these things, with a full heart, let us fix our eyes on YOU!

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace"

Amen and amen!

P.S! I want to live outside right now in New Zeeland or Fiji and hike in mountains and sleep in hammocks under the stars and swim under water falls and go cliff jumping and surfing! also this blog post turned into something a lot longer than I anticipated.

receiving.

i love dressing up.

this girl here (Christiana) has been one of those friends that comes into your life and just sticks.

we laugh so hard we pee.
we can talk about everything. and i mean everything.

today we went goodwill and salvation army shopping and got these matching sweater vests.

we shared some good old french press coffee.
potato soup and potatoes.

more than that we shared the kind of conversation that blesses you in the deepest parts of your heart.

she reminded me of something that should be something i think about daily. but it's also easy to forget.

[Jesus] does not see us as our sins deserve. He sees us in light of what He suffered on the cross. Cleansed before Him by His blood. He doesn't see us as we deserve.




sitting in a room filled with all sorts of different people singing a song about forgiveness...

"wade in the water... of forgiveness."

my friend kelsey played at folk night and she has such a way with writing music that is honest and filled with amazing lyrics.

she talked about receiving forgiveness and offering forgiveness and how they correlate.

that's something i've been thinking about - receiving something is humbling because it means you recognize your need for something.

receiving Jesus' forgiveness and love is humbling because it means confession. it means recognizing a deep need.

and receiving the fact that we do not need to live in guilt because He doesn't see us as guilty.
letting go of yourself. [yourguilt]

and seeing your great need.
receiving Jesus for everything He is. including the way He washes us clean. and purifies us and sees us as pure and clean.

"no guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of [Christ] in me."

Because their stories need to be told... HoungHoung

Let me introduce you to a little girl named, Houng Houng. This past summer I got to know this little girl when we moved from being at Continue Home in Yantai to regular camp. I didn't get to interact with her much because she wasn't my assigned buddy at camp but everytime we saw each other we would hug! I wish I knew more of her story but I remember when she had to leave....

Most of the kids start acting a little different the last few days of camp whether they cry more or get upset more easily - it's that deep pain of having to go back to their orphanages or difficult living situations. Breaks my heart! It made me sad to see her struggling the last day of camp and wondering what she had to go back to. All I know is that I loved her so much and she needed as many hugs and kisses as anybody could give her!

sisterlove!

I adore my big sister.

She is getting married in 18 days and it's so weird thinking about! I am so super excited for her and seeing God's plan in her life unfolding into a new season...

{And even though I know she isn't moving across the world, I will still miss her!}

I have been thinking about how much she has impacted my life. I think she has given me freedom to be so free in who I am and willing to try doing anything! Even when I was really little, I remember her always welcoming me in.

She did it tonight too in a coffee shop, while she was talking to someone and I wasn't sure wether or not to join she held out her hand to me, and that is what she has done her whole life. Even if she was playing with her 'cool' older friends she ALWAYS let me join in...

I think she has given me a lot of the confidence I have today to try things, because she always welcomed me in to try anything that "the big kids were doing."

She is amazing.

I love you sister!!!

"Season of the Fall" {continued from the bike post}

"

"Season of the Fall"

10/21/2011

How many times I've said, "Lord take away me"
The deepest parts of my heart
that I've put {my} seal upon
The beautiful parts You created but when I seal away
How dark they become without Your light

There are parts I like to hold
{I think they are mine}
But what have I, whom have I in heaven
But You alone, Lord

The parts of my heart I may be choking growth
Or the dead parts that need to fall away
Making room for new growth, parts that are meant to flourish

And the falling away of death
Parts that have died, parts of ourselves
Of course death is painful, it's not natural
But how can I fully live, if the pieces of me that have died
Are choking the places meant to be alive

Sometimes I want to be still, to hear the dead pieces fall away
to sit in the dead leaf pile
To rake them all up in a pile and dive in
To dive into the once comfortable places
I need time to realize what has died
to take time to cry over my lost parts
Sometimes it's good to dive into what has died

But in those moments when I want to cling to death
Lord, deliver me from that valley
And I feel Your hand, your life giving touch
Reminds me that three days in the grave were more than enough

You have taken all those leaves in my dead pile
Those things forever gone, You took them all
So I can live

Oh what grace to let me live,
To touch me, no hold my heart
You understand like no one else
The process of death and life
And You carry me through

You not only carry away my death, You breathe life
and freedom
{Joy alone in Your presence}
You heal my deepest places, You understand
You love me in my season of the fall

Because their stories need to be told... Isaac.

This sweet little guy is Isaac.

I have so many amazing stories about the sweet children in China that I'm going to do a series on my blog high-lighting some of them over this next year called, "Because their stories need to be told..."

Isaac came to camp in Kunming in 2010 when I was there. These pictures of Isaac and me were at the end of a week at camp. He is such a precious little guy - in fact we usually referred to him as Sweet Isaac.

At the orphanage where Isaac lives, they chain him to his chair because he is a "runner." He has a tendency to run away. This sounds horrible and it is but they are actually doing it to try and protect him because they don't want him to run away.

Isaac is mentally disabled and at the orphanage they don't have the abilities to give him the attention and love that he needs so they chain him so he doesn't run away. He came to us with scratches and cuts on himself because he doesn't have anything to do he usually would sit there and hurt himself. Writing these things and remembering it all makes me cry.

When he came to camp he could hardly sit still for more than two seconds before darting around or trying to run. But after getting used to his foreign volunteer (my sweet friend, Kelly!) he started calming down.

It really was amazing what a week in a loving environment did. He was so much more calm and able to sit still and he was so loving. He hugged all the time and just craved that attention. We tried to get foster care for him in China as that would have been a better situation than sending him back to the orphanage but it fell through.

Isaac is so incredibly precious.
And there are so many more "Isaac's" out there.
I miss him.
And I pray for him and...
Someday I wish I could take him home.