Family.

I am sitting here processing a lot after having been at the Home School Conference this past weekend.  It's a beautiful snowy January day,  perfect for writing and contemplation, hot chocolate and beautiful music.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
"Hear O Israel, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai our God is One!  And you are to love Adonai your God with all your heart, all your being and all your resources.   These words, which I am ordering you today (10 commandments), are to be on your heart, and you are to teach them carefully to your children.  You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you are traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead, and write them on the door-frames of your house and on your gates."

Diana Waring spoke about this particular passage of Scripture this weekend.  I think that sums up how our family viewed homeschooling growing up.  It was an all encompassing lifestyle.  We didn't compartmentalize school into it's own box. 

So often it seems that we compartmentalize aspects of our lives.  Work.  Family. School.  God.  Friends.  Social.  Everything fits in its own box and we have no understanding of holistic living.  How all of those things God created with such purpose to flow one into the other, not as separate entities in our lives.  God is so fully of beauty and order in life and we like to separate these things when that was not His intention that we live life so dis-connected. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking about how awesome my family is.  I think my parents did such an amazing job raising us in light of Deuteronomy 6 passage.  The Lord was in every part of what we did.  We didn't just go to church on Sundays - every part of our lives included my parents living out their faith and showing us what that meant.  Reading the Bible together and talking about it - applying it to all of life not just when it was "Bible study" time.  During school, how we treated our siblings and parents.  Learning to respect our parents as the authority that the Lord has put in our lives and obeying with not only our actions but our hearts.  Learning about that with our parents in the same way as when you become adults needing to submit to the authority of the Lord and His rules not only with actions but with your heart.  How to serve others and work as a team.  We did everything together.  We learned what it meant to serve together, cry together, laugh together (and boy did we laugh a lot) and communicate about everything.

I think this was another key thing.  Communication.  My parents always had open communication with us.  We knew we could always talk to them and they always talked to us.  They also listened.  So important.  We made big decisions together.  We were a team. 

How does this even work?!  When you think about it we had a family of 5 and each one of us is so incredibly different.  I guess I make some of the above sound like we were the perfect family and that everything was always a little haven on earth for our family.  That would not be true.  We had our struggles just like everyone.  We didn't do all of the things I described above perfectly.  But that was part of the beauty of growing and learning together.  Making mistakes and growing from them.

We had a no-secrets policy growing up.  We didn't keep secrets from our parents.  That saved me so much grief.  Out of all three McDaniel kids I was probably the most likely to hold things inside rather than talk about them.  My brother and Sister talked about everything and anything on their hearts whenever and without hesitation.  My parents, especially my mom was good about asking me questions that helped me open up.  Even though sometimes I acted like I didn't appreciate that at times deep down I really did.  It was harder for me to open up and share but my parents were so wise in helping me work through that struggle.  It has saved me so many times as an adult that I am able to work through conflict and talk about hard things.  Because, let's face it life is hard!  Beautiful but hard and if we bottle things up inside, well... it's not a pretty picture.  It ends up coming out so un-healthily.  It is still not my favorite thing to have the "hard conversations" but I am so thankful because if my parents hadn't helped me in that area it would have been a lot worse. 

I guess all of these thoughts were just flowing through my mind this weekend.  I don't necessarily have a specific point in any of this,  just a good reminder of how important family is to me.  How hard it can be at times to live that out in a world that mocks anything good about parental or adult authority and rips family (at least the way God created family) apart.  I think that comes from so much hurt that happens in family.  We are all selfish people and working together to be a family is hard.  But communication is so important and learning to extend grace and forgiveness is vital. Also just having time to spend together.  Everyone now a days seems to be so busy.  Taking time for family seems to take the "back-burner" spot.  How do you cultivate a relationship you never pour anything into?   Spending quality time together is so important. 

So, I hope anyone reading this can be encouraged to take a step toward building a family relationship that needs to built today no matter how hard it is.  Asking forgiveness, extending forgiveness, having a conversation that draws your closer together and sharing what's on your heart no matter how difficult it may be.  The Evil One does not like family.  He likes division and chaos.  So remember it's hard to take that step towards unity and peace but it's SO incredibly worth it. 

The Lord is faithful to heal and restore even in the darkest times.   He uses everything to teach us and grow us to be more faithful to Him and following His ways.  Let us cast of selfishness and serve one another in the Father's deep love today.  Let us seek to love Him and let Him love us that we can pour that beautiful un-ending love to everyone else without expectation of what the "return" might be.