Home.

This summer was great...  I can't believe it's coming to an end I feel as if I need a summer to recover from summer.  I guess the true saying goes "I need a vacation from the vacation."

China was wonderful.
California was wonderful.
Being home is wonderful.
"There's no place like home."

"Your home should become a light that illuminates the entire street and community."
 ~Rebbe Schneerson~

Home is a symbol really of a place to belong, to rest, to feel loved.  There are certain homes you enter where you can just intrinsically feel "at home."

When I was with the Hedden family this summer in China I could feel "at home" in their house.  They welcomed me into their family, we could drink coffee on the porch together and laugh and sit on the couches and have heart conversations.  I love them.

Natalie and Andrew Hedden

I could feel at home coming to California and staying with my friends the Bolts.  Staying up late and laughing, preparing to go on a boat trip (that ended in storm watching) sitting with Beth and Beccabo talking about everything and anything in our hearts and dreaming of the future, climbing trees with Abby and going for walks with Mary on the beach and after dinner hikes. 

My California Sisters, Becca, Bethany and Lyndsey

 I could feel at home coming home to my family's home in MI.  Sleeping in my own bed, smelling familiar smells, laughing with mom and dad, sitting around a campfire sharing thoughts and tears with the world's best dad, getting big "bear hugs" from my brother Ben, setting up tents in the backyard and watching movies with my mom.  Sitting on the front porch having heart chats with my beautiful mom...  laying in the sunshine.  Seeing some of my "adopted" siblings who share our home from GVSU and how mom and dad love them.  Hugging my bestest Sister!

Home sweet home in Michigan!  :)

 I could feel at home visiting some of my friends houses...  having long chats with Mrs. Groot about life while she is healing from foot surgery.  Laughing about funny things that happen and petting their sweetest dog, Boog.  Sitting around the kitchen table at the Regan's house and laughing and sharing about our summers with the little girls sitting on my lap, and giggling of course.  Arranging flowers with my Nana at her house...  Visiting my dear friend Sarah and her two little girls and helping little Olivia ride her bike with no training wheels - cheering her on when she went "4 houses" all by herself...

Beautiful Mrs. Groot (and Mr. Groot!)

Cute Olivia!

Me and Boog romping at the Groots

Going to Gracie's home in China - meeting her mom and sharing a meal where we couldn't communicate much through our words but our hearts were still able to communicate.  To hug and laugh and make hand motions to explain certain things.  

Gracie and her Mom

Home truly is a beautiful thing...  and there are so many pictures that I have been DEEPLY blessed with.  They can all look different but the feeling is the same.  Being welcomed in, a place of rest and belonging, freedom to laugh and cry and share hearts. Being loved.

It does make me sad, thinking about the beautiful children who came to camp this summer in China - who don't have that place of home.  How they cried leaving camp - how we created maybe a "home" for them that they will never have.   Knowing that the Father loves them as His own and cares for them far more than I ever could.  Oh how He loves them... I miss them.

I hope we can all bring a bit of "home" with us no matter where we are and who we are with.  You never know when someone might just need "a little home."

Just a bit of Sister fun!  :)

Just some thoughts in a poem format on sin and up-rooting yuck in our heart-gardens.

"Roots (and Weeds and Flowers)"

May 29, 2012

by me

Roots can be stubborn

They hold on tight and spread their tiny tentacles to soak in all the nourishment of the land

Roots of weeds

Roots of flowers

Striving to attain the same nourishment

Yet surely one must win the battle

For the two cannot flourish together

Looking at a weed

And looking at a flower

A weed can be beautiful even boasting small flowers

But what is the difference?

A flower bringing true fragrance, unselfish beauty

Simply living to make life more beauty-filled

and what a sweet fragrance?!

A weed while sometimes pretty to the eye

Choking life slowly of the pure flowers

Weeding their way in, jealous of the sunshine's nutrients

Not able to give off a sweet fragrance

Weeds do not need to be tended

They run rampant

Threatening to choke out all the flowers life and beauty

What must be done to ensure the flowers sweet fragrance stays intact?

The weeds must be taken out by the roots

Every single last one

By the roots

Sometimes they can be pulled out but stubborn roots remain

Still striving to steal the nutrients

So we must persistently work and stay on guard

For no root of a weed to take root among the precious flowers

Stealing their beauty to shine

Let the flowers roots grow deep

Let their fragrance be strong and their beauty shine;

perfectly and unaffected by any weeds

past two months in pictures.

dance worship night... (may 4)

fun with some sweet girls downtown

more from the worship night - with backstage helpers!  (lifesavers, ellen and haylie!)

the wizard of oz (april 12 - 14)

everyone from the dance worship night

sweet babies and my student helpers this year.

this is my favorite little boy in the whole world, justin.   he calls me "missuhgwacie."

my favorite puppy, boog!

amy duffy!  (my little sis, who is coming to china this summer!

)

i had to drive anna to the rehearsal with her hair sticking out of the sunroof!  (wicked witch from wizard of oz!)  so funny!

sweet jenna and me

one of my best friends since high school days, cole.  (director of wizard of oz!)

me and mr. daaaan! 

amy duffy and i again!

random trips to lansing for five guys with the cousin, jordan!

chicago trip for choir memories and incidentally me and sister's FIRST trip to the AG store... pretty exciting!

they only had a mini version of my doll, kirsten.

I'M IN THE HOPE! :) 

cheesecake factory!

just dancing!

bring me hope nightwalk!  people were walking all over the world to help raise money for orphans to come to camp this summer in China through Bring Me Hope!  (may 18)  annnd china.... here i come in ONE MONTH!!!  WOOOHOOO!  :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wandering thoughts

I have a tendency to look at myself far too much. Getting ready in the morning would be so much quicker if I wasn't looking at myself so much and making faces. (This is totally the truth... mirrors are far more entertainment to me than they should be!) But in the deeper sense I look at myself far too much rather than looking to Christ. I get inward focused asking questions such as: "Why do I feel this way?" "Why do I react this way?" These are not bad things in themselves to ask but I have a tendency to do a little too much internal processing. This can quickly become a dangerous cycle because when left alone with our thoughts they quickly can be twisted into little lies we believe about ourselves or others, we can tend to wallow in our own bitterness or self-pity and usually end up feeling very self-focused rather than Christ and others focused. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own feelings about something instead of focusing on the truth we know we can run to in Jesus word. {Side note - wrestling through issues is different than wandering thoughts... wrestling through issues is a really good thing for all of us to do, making sure to seek wise council in the process!} "Learn much of the Lord Jesus. For every look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely." - Robert Murray McCheyne 2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

the neesby lookbook girl party!

I participated in the most awesome girl party today online! Check it out! :)



http://theneesbylookbook.blogspot.com

Compared to what?

It is so easy to compare yourself to other people.
In reality, other people's images they present of themselves.

The internet makes it so easy
Pictures on Facebook
The world of Pinterest
People's Blogs where they can present their "picture perfect" moments of life

It can make you feel like a real loser in the right moments.

In church on Sunday, my pastor mentioned something that left me thinking. The Bible doesn't ever talk about how we compare to other people.

**Lightbulb moment!**

God is not at all interested in how you compare yourself to others. He does not compare you to others. If we are talking about comparing at all, we can talk about comparing our lives to Jesus.

**Silence**

Exactly.
No comparison.

He trades His perfect life for ours.
The Father sees us as:
clean
beloved
and pure

through the grace of Jesus.

Yet it is so easy to compare. In the honest parts of my heart I struggle with this. When I look at my life and compare it to so many people's lives I don't measure up or meet the normal criteria.

College degree - zilch.
Current vehicle driving - sharing with mom and dad.
Living situation - living at home. (I love my family, I don't regret this!)
Bank accounts - all money saved for summers in China. (aka zilch again!)

So compared to most people my age I have taken a very different path and it's one that at the right moment of weakness can leave me in a puddle of tears to be honest.

So easy to compare.
So easy to look at others lives and wish you were them.

And yet, knowing how Faithfully Jesus has led me through each season.
Leading through each moment that has led me here.

Each hard moment, yet the deep peace and joy He has filled me with in the midst of those hard moments.

He has been faithful.
He is faithful.
He will be faithful.

So in those weak moments of the comparison game, Jesus let me look into your faithful eyes and hear You say, "Compared to what?!"

marchlove.

the best parts about march:

st. patrick's day
(love the green and the story of st. patrick!)

spring!
(flowers, sunshine, rain and rain boots and umbrellas!)

only 4 months til i'm in china!


galations 5:15
"you, my brothers were called to be free!
but do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature,
rather serve one another in love!"

love this song lately..
"wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes!"
great spring song!

twothings.

i had two thoughts today.
well more than two.
but you get the idea.
actually one thought and one remembery.

remembery:
"when you say yes to something you say no to something else"

prioritizing what Jesus wants me to do not what i always feel like


thought:
Jesus never pushes us away when we bring to Him our:
constant requests, selfish wants, hurts, happy-ness, anything really
He never pushes us away
He always has time
nobody is ever "not as important"
He never has a sharp word or bitey attitude when "stressed"
God is patient

Jesus, give me that sort of patience for EVERYONE
i need more of it!!!!

You are a story. I am a story.

I loved this book when I was little.
What an amazing story of a little girl who knew she was a princess.
{whose name happened to be Sarah, just like me. I also knew I was a princess.}

She was strong and thought of life as a battle and a complete joy.
{I think of life that way too.}

She had a heart for the "outcast" person and had a way of making them feel loved.

When her world turned up-side down she stayed strong.

“Whatever comes," she said, "cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.” ~Francis Hodgson Burnett


For Valentine's Day, Mom, Sister and I went to see a production of "The Little Princess" and it touched me so much. It reminded me of how much I loved that book and reminded me how much a good story can impact your life.

"You are a story, I am a story."

Was a line in the show...

How all of our lives are stories and none being insignificant in God's big story. The Bible is one big story, and Jesus used stories to teach. Stories are so powerful because we all have a story and relate in some way to another person's story.

And when a wonderful story is portrayed through theater, dancing and music how it touches you in such a deep place. I love being involved in theater, dance and music for that reason. It has such a capacity to impact someone's life. I know mine was impacted by the show last weekend. I was reminded that my life IS a story and is not insignificant no matter how small you can feel.


“There's nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in--that's stronger. It's a good thing not to answer your enemies.” ~Francis Hodgson Burnett

Never stop reading the good classic stories. They have so much to offer!

You are a story.

I am a story.

{PS! I have some fun Valentiney sorts of pictures and stories to post soon too when I have time!}

heartstuff

"in these bodies we will live
in these bodies we will die
where you invest your love
you invest your life."
~mumford&sons~

aren't they precious? i love teaching dance.

i have been reading through isaiah lately.
mmmm... soo. good. so. goood!

[isaiah54:13]
no weapon formed against you will prevail
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you
this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord


[isaiah 55:9]
as the heavens are higher than the earth
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

amen and thank you, Jesus!

"you are the blood over the door of my heart
what pain you spared me from, how could i know it all"
[bethanydillon]

i love the imagery in that song ^^
like in the passover in the book of exodus, the lamb's blood over the israelites door caused the spirit of death to literally pass over their houses and spare their first born sons from death. and Jesus [the Lamb of God]'s blood over the "door of my heart" causes so much to passover and save me from eternal death. Jesus, thank you for being my precious lamb.

another thought on that is the fact that Jesus blood is over the door of my heart and everything that passes through that door directly affects Him.

feeding the flesh causes it to thrive.
feeding the spirit causes it to thrive.

it's easy to feed the flesh. but it constantly wants more and leaves you feeling empty.
it's harder sometimes to "feed" the spirit but it leaves you feeling full to bursting with joy and peace. spending time with Jesus always leaves me bursting and longing to never have to be distracted again from just being in His presence. when i get to go home and be with Him forever. this is not our home.

"Awake my soul, awake my soul
for you were made to meet your Maker"
[mumford&sons]

twentyeleven

twentyeleven in review
{in no particular order}

1. got my nose pierced
2. learned to drive a manual
3. lost my youth pastor and his baby son in a house fire
4. experience the body of Christ grieve and worship, losing derek and dylan {community}
5. be blessed beyond words to see God restore relationships and heal
6. traveled to China again
7. watch someone I led to the Lord lead someone else to the Lord
8. travel to iowa and california
9. be a maid of honor twice {in a month!}
10. won a tractor competition after driving a tractor once in my life
11. cried more than ever before
12. also laughed more than ever before {if possible}
13. trusted God in a deeper way than ever before
14. bought a special pair of pants and formed a sisterhood around them
15. watched the northern lights with my mom
16. slept in a tree house
17. went to narnia for the third time experienced being a lion {hair still recovering}
18. did handstands in an elevator
19. saw shooting stars in china, michigan and california
20. made a country music video
21. saw sara watkins perform with the decemberists
22. traveled to tennessee with my mom twice for weddings
23. turned quarter of a century old. :)


what a year.
i love Jesus sooo much.
bring it 2012!! :)

Isaiah 43:18-19
Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past, see I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?
See I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

happyheart!

I loved my trip to California! Couldn't have been more perfect...

The BMH retreat was refreshing to soul, filled with laughter and conversations, hiking and stargazing, dancing and welcoming in the new year with a Bonfire, poppers, worship and prayer and hugs! Love my BMH family, what a blessing to be a part!

Getting some quality Bochic Sisterhood time for the week following was incredible!

These sisters encourage my heart, challenge, inspire, love and lift me straight up to Jesus! <3