"Season of the Fall" {continued from the bike post}

"

"Season of the Fall"

10/21/2011

How many times I've said, "Lord take away me"
The deepest parts of my heart
that I've put {my} seal upon
The beautiful parts You created but when I seal away
How dark they become without Your light

There are parts I like to hold
{I think they are mine}
But what have I, whom have I in heaven
But You alone, Lord

The parts of my heart I may be choking growth
Or the dead parts that need to fall away
Making room for new growth, parts that are meant to flourish

And the falling away of death
Parts that have died, parts of ourselves
Of course death is painful, it's not natural
But how can I fully live, if the pieces of me that have died
Are choking the places meant to be alive

Sometimes I want to be still, to hear the dead pieces fall away
to sit in the dead leaf pile
To rake them all up in a pile and dive in
To dive into the once comfortable places
I need time to realize what has died
to take time to cry over my lost parts
Sometimes it's good to dive into what has died

But in those moments when I want to cling to death
Lord, deliver me from that valley
And I feel Your hand, your life giving touch
Reminds me that three days in the grave were more than enough

You have taken all those leaves in my dead pile
Those things forever gone, You took them all
So I can live

Oh what grace to let me live,
To touch me, no hold my heart
You understand like no one else
The process of death and life
And You carry me through

You not only carry away my death, You breathe life
and freedom
{Joy alone in Your presence}
You heal my deepest places, You understand
You love me in my season of the fall

Because their stories need to be told... Isaac.

This sweet little guy is Isaac.

I have so many amazing stories about the sweet children in China that I'm going to do a series on my blog high-lighting some of them over this next year called, "Because their stories need to be told..."

Isaac came to camp in Kunming in 2010 when I was there. These pictures of Isaac and me were at the end of a week at camp. He is such a precious little guy - in fact we usually referred to him as Sweet Isaac.

At the orphanage where Isaac lives, they chain him to his chair because he is a "runner." He has a tendency to run away. This sounds horrible and it is but they are actually doing it to try and protect him because they don't want him to run away.

Isaac is mentally disabled and at the orphanage they don't have the abilities to give him the attention and love that he needs so they chain him so he doesn't run away. He came to us with scratches and cuts on himself because he doesn't have anything to do he usually would sit there and hurt himself. Writing these things and remembering it all makes me cry.

When he came to camp he could hardly sit still for more than two seconds before darting around or trying to run. But after getting used to his foreign volunteer (my sweet friend, Kelly!) he started calming down.

It really was amazing what a week in a loving environment did. He was so much more calm and able to sit still and he was so loving. He hugged all the time and just craved that attention. We tried to get foster care for him in China as that would have been a better situation than sending him back to the orphanage but it fell through.

Isaac is so incredibly precious.
And there are so many more "Isaac's" out there.
I miss him.
And I pray for him and...
Someday I wish I could take him home.

bikes and God hugs.

Tonight I went for a bike ride and there were little kids and their parents playing in the leaves. And the air had that tiny bit of fall nippy-ness...

And leaves were falling.

And I asked God to take me through a season of fall, letting old leaves fall off... they might look pretty and colorful but they are dead.

And then I rode my bike letting go of my handlebars.

And it was scary.
{Last time I did that I hit a bump and flew over my handle bars and it hurt}

But I let go and this time I didn't fall and it didn't hurt and I think that was significant for the season I am in right now. It was God speaking to me in away I understand.
Letting go can be scary - but when you let go you find so much freedom.

Mr. and Mrs. Collins

This girl right here is a sister and one of my favorite partners in crime, laughing (hysterically) buddies, my sister who I can absolutely and freely share my heart with and who encourages me so much. Someone I can be real with and who I know is always cheering me on to be my best. She is known to me as Squishy and I am her Pip and she is just one of the most amazing people you will ever meet.




She got married this weekend to the amazing Pj (who I unfortunately don't have any pictures of!) and I am sooo excited for them. I really believe God has some awesome things in store for them as a couple involving discipleship and Christian world-view stuff. They are pretty smart. :) Anyways - it was an amazing weekend of laughter and tears. When the dress came on and the hair was done we looked at each other and both started crying. So many amazing emotions...

During rehearsal I fell twice walking to the gazebo scaring my partner (Pjs brother, David) mildly thinking what could happen during the real thing.







When we were lining up to walk down the aisle for the real thing, David asked me if I had the ring. I didn't even respond but bolted back into the mansion on the second floor where I had stuffed the ring in my duffel bag earlier.. threw everything out of my bag and frantically dug through everything before I found the ring and flew down the flight of stairs just in time to walk down the aisle. Just call me super woman!