Beholding

Today as I was reading in Matthew, I got to the story about Peter walking on the water. It challenged my heart so much today for some reason. I feel so often that I come to God not entirely surrendered. Like, I will read Scriptures and be excited about what I am learning and can talk about spiritual things, but when it comes down to it and praying and talking to God I think sometimes it's really easy to talk to God but not listen. Why is that? God has always proven Himself faithful and being in that place of entire surrender is the most freeing, beautiful feeling of all. To be at peace with the Lord. If I was entirely surrendered, what would God do with this heart of mine? I like to cling on to little things that aren't important. Does it hurt God when He sees all that could be happening in my heart but when I don't take the time to really listen and surrender? Lord, that I would long to always have that intimacy with You!

I was introduced to the song "Captivated" by Vicky Beeching this week because we are using it for our last dance piece at the Turning Pointe recital and I have listened to it almost constantly since then. It's so beautiful. There is a line in it that says, "Beholding, I'm becoming" and that is so incredible. "What is beholding?" It really made me think - beholding the Lord. I guess I kind of think about it as looking at something, but deeper. Like the eyes of our heart just viewing the Lord and taking in His beauty and wonder and depth. Beholding. I like this concept alot.

On Saturday it reached almost 50 degrees here and was sunny so I went on a walk with my lovely journal to the park and it was so incredible to be outdoors in the sunshine with only a fleece! I enjoyed it so much...