Ramblings

As I have been sick (feeling alot better but still in the hardcore kleenex using stage haha!) I have alot of time to read/think/journal and process those thoughts that keep bugging you and you always send 'em to the back of your brain to think about "later" but in reality later doesn't usually come til you get sick or something.

Saturday night when I was feeling my worst I turned on some music and a song came on when I was drifting in and out of sleep that I haven't heard in a long time. It's called, "Remember Surrender" by Sara Groves. You know, I don't know why but whenever I'm at such a low point God always works so powerfully - once again that happened. As I was laying there miserable I realized how many things I was holding on to in Sarah Grace world. Things that I thought I had surrendered and that weren't a "big deal" but I realized how much I was holding on to those things. I felt like God was asking me, "Do you REALLY trust me on this?" I was like, "well yes I trust You!" But then I thought about how I always will pray about things and lay them over into God's hands and yet I still cling onto them. So I was asking God about this and why if I surrender them do I still keep thinking about them. Well, God answered me in a funny way but basically He was like, "well I didn't tell you to give up your brains when you surrender." I smiled. I do know this and so I think the difference is that we do have brains and we will think about big things coming up or whatever, it's not that we don't think about them but just if we can trust and lay them down.

I guess more than anything during this here little sickness I've been reminded of a deep desire and passion to follow God so closely and to not care what the world thinks - or be hindered any longer by sin. I think God wants us to continue pursuing Him with our everything. Also I've been brought back to this quote alot:

"Satan's biggest trick is to try to get you to do good things God has not called you to do."
John DeVries

Baby Ballerina Cuteness

I was teaching my little baby ballerinas earlier today and we were getting ready to pray and I always ask them what they would like to pray for. One little girl goes:

"I would like to pray for my mommy and daddy" and she proceeds to whisper confidentially, "those are my parents!" :)

Lamb of God

It's kind of awesome that one of Jesus' names is Lamb of God.

I've been reading through the Torah and it's so interessting the detail and attention they pay to sacrifices and blood sacrifices for sin. So when Jesus came, he became that ultimate blood sacrifice - being called "Lamb of God."

We are no longer under the sacrificial system because Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. Our own Lamb of God. How amazing?!

Gentiles have been engrafted into God's people. When Jesus came, God had set up the world so it was ripe for the Gospel to be preached. Alexander the Great had "hellenized" that part of the world so they all spoke the same language and the Gospel could be preached and understood. (Even where there were different languages Pentecost happened so people could know the Gospel too. God's awesome like that!)

Things changed when Jesus came - the curtain in the temple to the Holy of Holies was torn. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. The great commision was time to be fulfilled by God's people, which was expanded to Gentiles. That is humbling and amazing that we are children of God!

Those are just some thoughts running through my head lately... Sometimes I wish I could grow faster and learn more quickly but my friend brought me to the verse from John the other day.

John 16:12 I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.

I wish I could be done with sin already. I know it doesn't happen overnight and we aren't perfect but I long for that. Being home forever without sin to get in the way of my relationship with Jesus. That unity and perfect peace without being broken or distracted by things. But I also do love the journey - life is a beautiful thing - a gift not to be thrown away. With alot of laughter and moments to be cherished - glimpses into heaven and perfect peace and communion with our Lord.

Calling

We are a doing culture. I heard a sermon a while ago where the guy was talking about how God had brought him from a human doing to a human being and the difference in his life. Then I heard an amazing sermon this Sunday at my church and heard this quote:

"Satan's biggest trick is to get you to do good things that God has not called you to do." ~John DeVries~

Scattered thoughts on a page about brokeness.

There is so much pain out there. I remember last summer when I was out at camp in Colorado, Molly really challenged us with the passage in 2 Kings 4 when Elisha prays for the Shunamite woman's son after he had died and he comes back to life.

"When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. He went in shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the Lord. Then he got on the bed and lay upon the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out upon the boy, the boy's body grew warm. Elisha turned away and walked back and forth across the room and then he got on the bed and stretched out upon him again. The boy sneezed seven times and then opened his eyes."
2 Kings 4:32-35

I have noticed alot of Christians don't want to go to those places and be entirely intimate in a hard situation. What am I going to say to this person who's hurting? What if they ask a question about God I can't answer? What if I "get dirty" in the process. I think this passage expells alot of that. I get so frustrated with people who are not willing to "get dirty" or dive into others' pain. There is so much pain in the world that needs to be addressed like Elisha did. He laid on top of him and prayed to the Lord on his behalf. People NEED this type of love. It's hard to jump into others pain but if we don't who will? Yes it hurts me to the point of tears that rack my whole body sometimes. My heart breaks for people who are hurting and in pain and I wish I could take it away but I can bring them to Jesus who will ultimately use the pain in their life to draw them unto Himself and to shape and change them. That is so hard in the middle of it but I would not change the hard times that I have been through because of how much closer they have brought me to Jesus.

So who is it in your life right now that you need to go in, shut the door and cry out to the Lord for and dive into their pain with them?

What happens when you have Cabin Fever

So after the week of never-ending snow (aka being inside your house for a week!) ;) my sister and I decided to venture out and use some giftcards received over the holidays.

At the end of our shopping trip we were both pretty hungry and decided to use another gift card at the local Panera and grab a sandwich and have a peaceful little lunch. As we are sitting down to eat it became quite obvious to both of us that at the table right next to us there was quite an intense debate/conversation happening about whether the Bible was God's word and wether or not God really exists etc. I enjoy those type sof conversations and we couldn't help but hear it since the guys voice was quite loud. Haha... we ended up getting brave and asking them to come over to our table and continue the discussion. It was great - and Candace (the girl) believes the Bible and Jordan was questioning and saying he didn't feel like he could and wanted evidence. It was a good conversation.

I like meeting random people in Panera and discussing God. Jordan is currently attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. and just finished taking a class called "The Problem of God." I thought that was so interessting seeing as I so strongly believe that God is the answer to the problem (the problem being sin.) Hmmm... good thinking thoughts. I enjoy. :D

Overwhelming Love

I could not have had a more beautiful birthday. Lately my heart has felt overwhelmed with love and I don't even know how to handle it all. There are so many incredibly, beautiful people in my life who I know love me way more than I deserve but I thank the Lord so much for allowing all these people into my life - they have helped shape and challenge me and have been there through the hard times to remind me of who I am in Christ and challenge me to joy through all circumstances. I am so humbled at all of this love and am honestly overwhelmed with love. Pure love.

Fruit and Gifts

Lately I have been thinking alot about the fruits of the Spirit verses the gifts of the Spirit.



A fruit is the product of what is cultivated.

A gift is freely given by the Lord and is ours to receive or reject.



So - fruit of the Spirit is something that can be grown and cultivated only through the vine, Jesus Christ (John 15) and is affected by our surroundings/environment/choices. Fruit flourishes under the right conditions or dies. It can also look good on the outside but inside be worthless.



The gifts of the Spirit is something that God gives us freely to further His kingdom and is ours either to receive and use for His kingdom or to hoard and be selfish with. It's a gift to use to further the Kingdom not something we are supposed to sit on and keep for ourselves. I think a gift shared and given to others is so beautiful.

"Secrets"

“Secrets”
6/18/2008

It started out as something so small
A neglected heart at the edge of the crowd
What draw the crowd has – one may never know
But she stands at the edge –feeling alone and left out

There is a war going on much deeper than she knows
It started almost before time
So how can she fight if she doesn’t know?
The war for a soul – defenseless and standing at the edge of the crowd

What secrets held inside?
Secrets that are meant to be shared
Secrets that stay inside only bind you in fear
The voices that no one hears but scream at you at night
They hold you alone and keep you at the edge of the crowd

That’s part of the war that started before time
The battle for a soul – Satan has no right
He stretches out the tentacles that keep you locked up in fear
Freedom seems impossible
Secrets are what bind you in fear

The father of lies is the father of secrets
When you hold them inside the secrets control you
Not only the secrets but the father of secrets
Each secret a tentacle –keeping you from your freedom

Each secret a chain and lock that must be opened
To be able to trust and to gain your freedom
You can’t hold these secrets they don’t belong to you
You were bought at a price before you even knew what love was

The chains held by the father of secrets
Keep your soul locked and bound
Can be opened and freed – you must trust and get rid of these secrets

Secrets held in the dark will only tie you down
You must shed light on them
Though your eyes squint and you shudder from what used to hold you down

The light will expose the dark secrets and the darkness will flee
When you trust and share the secret
Only then can you be free

prayer continually

This is the Stockbridge Boiler Room Prayer Garage. They host 24/7 prayer times throughout the year and this past week they had another one. People sign up for hour time slots and they have prayer going on non-stop for a week. I went with my friend Christiana one morning this week and it's just wonderful. The prayers written out in the prayer journals, through art on the walls, nailed on the cross, the music. I don't pray enough - in fact I am really bad at praying. I'm really good at worrying first and praying second. God has been speaking to me alot about prayer lately and it is an area of my life i am striving to re-vamp and break old habits in. Old-habits die hard however. So if you are reading this I would appreciate prayers to pray more and first. Thank you for that...

Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18~