Passion for China

I know a 5 year old little boy named, Drew. I saw his family yesterday when I visited Detroit. You ask him what he wants to be when he grows up and he says, "A missionary to China!" Every night he prays for these missionaries who are being persecuted in China. He prays for the "emperor" of China every night to become a Christian. Every chance he gets he asks his mom to go to Blockbuster to get movies about China. This little boy was adopted from Russia 3 years ago by this family - who I look at as a kind of second family to me. I wonder where he would be if he was still in an orphanage in Russia. Would he have that conviction (as a 5 year old) to go to China?

This inspires me so much because ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to go to China to love the orphans there. This summer I finally get to go. I think it was a dream I had kind of laid aside for a while because I had tried a few different times to go and things never worked out. When I found BMH online and they were just saying "COME" I was like, what? And I registered to go right then and there even though they were full swing in the middle of summer camps and I would have to wait untill 09. Almost every worship service I'm at lately I am drawn to tears out of thankfulness to God that I am finally getting to go to China and out of a broken heart for all the children there hurting. My hearts breaks even now and just wanting to be there and holding them and letting them know that I love them and the reason I love them so much is because Jesus loves them. They maybe can't comprehend it all but just playing with them and taking care of their practical needs in a small way... I am already prepping my heart for having to leave them and hate the thought even now. I just love them so much and my heart is so passionate for those orphans!

Live

Ezekiel 16:6

Then I passed by you and saw you kicking about in your own blood and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!"

Gabby

Our cousins came over tonight to celebrate my Nana's 71st birthday. My youngest cousin, Gabrielle (aka Gabby) and I have always been really close. But tonight she got me thinking about some stuff... She is probably the BIGGEST snuggle bug in the whole world, every second she wants to be in your lap with your arms around her just absolutely snuggling! Lol... Just as an example tonight she was sitting in my lap while Nana was opening her presents and Nana came to do the rounds of thank yous and give us all kisses and I stood up for two seconds to kiss my Nana and Gabby said, "Ok back to snuggling now!"

Gabby is so affirmed in this and has always felt extreme love and affection in her home and life and school etc. But it breaks my heart tonight because I was thinking of all the Gabby's in this world who are taken advantage of and abused and who are orphans and who have that HUGE desire in their hearts to simply snuggle. All those beautiful girls who don't have daddy's who snuggle with them and let them know they are beautiful and loved and affirmed in Christ.

a sarah grace psalm for the day

As I step into that place
Of complete and utter surrender
When I come before you
Without a protective hand to hinder
With arms open wide
Ready to embrace what you may say
Without a shield up
To block Your burning fire

O, Lord that you would refine me
No matter what the cost
Burn away myself
And let me not shun from the pain
For whatever the cost it's worth it
To be refined by You
Burn away my fleshly passions
Til You alone are standing true

Free to Dance

Last night, God blessed me so much by allowing me to dance for part of a worship night for an organization called CURE International. (http://www.cureinternational.org/)

They had two of their doctors in town from Kenya and so my friend Kyle put together a worship/info night about what Cure is doing. They basically perform surgeries for children around the world who couldn't afford it. Another really cool part about what they do is they train people in those countries to become surgeons etc.

Before I danced they played a video about one little boy who had recieved surgery to cure his severly bow legs, and how he struggled simply to walk before this surgery and it had a clip of him running at the end. It really impacted me because I think my biggest fear is having something happen to me that would prevent me from dancing.

As I was dancing tears were flowing and I have never been more thankful when I was dancing to simply be able to dance with God and just how much it means to my heart, soul and mind to be able to dance. Thank you, GOD for allowing me to have such an intimate connection to you through my dancing and that You allow me to be able to dance before You with freedom and love.

Hurting for the Broken

Last night at dance my friend Kaitlyn read a note that she had written on facebook about hurt, healing and hope (http://www.new.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=27630863050) and we were talking about it and were just really broken together about some hurting friends. As we were crying it just made me wonder that if we as human beings can feel such hurt for someone else, how much does it hurt God when His children are broken and hurting? There are some things you just can't wrap your mind around but I know that if my heart breaks over people and their pain how much more so is that true for God?

One of my favorite lines from a Bethany Dillon song is:
"I cannot believe You are angry or unjust, You have done nothing but have compassion on us."

God, break our hearts for what breaks Your heart and give us the courage to dive into other people's pain like you are willing to do everyday and not walk away. Help us to being willing to really go there, just like Elisha did with the Shunamite woman's son. He went in and shut the door and was willing to literally lie on top of him and breathe life into him. (2 Kings, 4:8-37) Are we really willing to go to that place and feeling what God feels for that person, even that person that is "unlovable" and the least of these?

I think it's really easy to walk away from people's pain. We all have pain in our life and sometimes we want to stay in our pain and have people come to us and understand what we're going through and love us. I know there are times for that but we need to be the ones willing to not wallow in our self-pity or selfishness and be willing to step beyond our pain and go to that hard place with others. Let Jesus heal your heart and work through your pain and not sit there comfortable in your pain but go beyond it and let it teach you what God wants to teach you so you can go about what God has called us all to do. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Love like crazy.

No Presuppositions.

I was just wondering earlier what it would be like for someone to open the Bible and completely un-biasedly read it and follow everything in it that God tells us. What would that look like?

It seems like everyone has opinions and interpretations on what God says in the Bible. I have gone to so many different types of churches and have so many friends who believe different things within them all believing in God and His Son.

It would just be interessting to see someone living out what is in the Bible who has absolutely no presuppositions about what something meant in the Bible. We have soooo many philosophies even just about church it's rediculous almost. I understand it because we all have minds to think but it's just hard sometimes to know if you are looking at someting objectively that is a "gray area" or if you without even realizing it are putting on your own presuppositions.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.' "~Isaiah 30:21~

Update

My friend, Chris is doing better... He so far has been able to keep the leg. He's gone through many surgeries and will have a long road ahead if he wants to be able to walk, but He is one of the most determined and energetic guys that I know - so I'm sure with God's help he will be able to walk and do all his normal stuff again. :)

Chris

Please pray for my friend Chris - he was in a really bad motorcycle accident yesterday and basically his left arm and leg are both shattered right now and he may lose his left leg.

A 10 Year Old's Encouragement

We had our second dance night with the younger girls group - (1o -14 year olds) and we were talking about stepping out and trusting God more.

One of the girls who is 12 was saying that sometimes it was hard for her to trust God because she will pray about something (like healing her uncle from cancer) and it doesn't happen and it makes it hard to trust God sometimes.

Then another little 10 year old girl says, "Well I used to pray for certain things and ask God why He didn't answer those prayers and then I realized that He usually did answer those prayers just sometimes I would pray things that weren't in His will. Or maybe He would answer them differently than I expected - but He still answers them and hears them."

A ten year old understanding this concept and encouraging another little girl that way was so beautiful.